Messages in bottles are not so extraordinary that something like this defies belief. There are probably thousands of them buried on beaches around the world. Millions were released in the 20th century alone, mostly for scientific research.

We already know that modern airliners are capable of flying themselves and have been so for decades. I’ve read that at least some of them are now able to (but generally don’t) land themselves. How long can it be before having a human in the cockpit is considered to be more trouble and risk than it’s worth?

No jade eggs in the vagina section? Color me surprised.

Who said anything about losing her? What if they return her as MegaMerkel, Cyberchancellor of Freedom, and she uses her newfound transmutation powers to turn Donald Trump into an actual Cheeto... and then she eats it.

Oh my god, I hope this is happening in some universe, if not this one.

Pedanticester Man here. His given name is Jong-Un. I don’t believe there is a custom in Korea of shortening names as nicknames like in Western cultures. I’ll leave it to Pedanticesterest Man to correct me if I’m wrong on that.

Ever accidentally grabbed the whole-berry canned sauce? I want to write an angry letter to Ocean Spray telling them how awful they are for making those cans almost identical. The berry shit ought to be in an safety orange can with a big biohazard symbol on it.

Aw, you have a wife ghost? I’m so sorry for your loss. And the fact that she’s haunting you.

The crazy thing is, I could see this actually working to some extent. Some of these people are so fucking shallow that if we simply started referring to it as Trumpcare they would probably be all for it. Including... nay, especially Trump himself.

I love it. I hope it works.

I’m not proud of it, but I’ll share mine as well.

Dear god, he’s a truther truther, too.

I think you’re looking at this all wrong. When we say “Bless you”, it’s shorthand for “I hope you’re not carrying a mutated strain of Brazilian Monkey Plague or anything like that because you just aerosolized your bodily fluids into the small volume of atmosphere that we are currently sharing”. When you “bless”…

Hot take: There aren’t 8 planets. There aren’t even 9 planets. There are 13!

#dwarfplanetsareplanetstoo it’s right there in the fracking name!

Neptune’s got 1,300 mile an hour winds, though. Does Uranus have powerful winds? Huh?!

On second thought, don’t answer that.

I love your comment but it has 42 stars right now and I just can’t bring myself to fuck it up. I’ll come back in a few after someone else does it.

Oh.
My.
God.

Found the “car warsh” he was in on Google maps.

The only sort of attack on the GPS system that is known is GPS spoofing. In GPS spoofing, a false GPS signal is broadcast that causes the receiver to report an incorrect location. Because it is a broadcast attack, it would have affected dozens, possibly hundreds, of vessels in such a densely trafficked area. There…

I’m originally from the Cumberland County area and I’ve been over that bridge before. LooseJuice is right, it’s a rusty old piece of shit bridge. IIRC, the operator booth is literally RIGHT THERE by the draw bridge section and the bridge isn’t very big so the car had just passed very close to him. Like, McDonald’s…