Oh, wait - I thought it was “take a drink UNTIL this makes sense to you.” No wonder there are so many empty bottles in the kitchen.

So basically you did the only smart and useful thing to be done - not gotten yourself killed and made sure that the (somewhat) good guys with the guns were told that their assistance would be greatly appreciated (and not shooting anyone for being armed with a deadly cellphone would also be greatly appreciated).

Now, that’s not fair. He also wants to make you take home the fetus afterwards so it can meet the rest of the family.

Also no doctor here, but I’m guessing that about the only thing CPR would do in that situation is put you out of your misery faster.

“But if we got too on point with the science, we’d be asking how zombies can even move after enough decomposition has occurred.”

Don’t forget Celine Dion and/or Nickelback. I mean, if you’re gonna do a mea culpa, you might as well claim ‘em all.

I guess I read it not as “not all white people” but “this fucker is even worse than the average asshole.”

Lordie, please submit it. I usually do soft news/features (because way more fun), but sometimes I think about going back to hard news/analysis. It seems like there are fairly large gaps in some areas of expertise.

“Isn’t it pretty clear that the construction crew was the direct cause of the collapse?”

I used a salt shaker to remove a slug in my garden, and that slug is still more of an alpha male than Gorka.

“Like it or not, the United States is by far the most powerful country on Earth.”

This NEEDS to happen.

The House Intelligence Committee, and only the Republican wing of the committee at that.

I’m OK with him leaving by some means other than Mueller, but mostly because I don’t see his departure actually stopping Mueller from exposing him eventually.

I don’t think it’s necessary to have kids to hate what’s happening to public education. All that should be necessary is the realization that these kids are going to be running your nursing home some day.

The thing is, though, that it was an example of a ridiculous lawsuit, which is why the settlement was drastically filed back.

Now who’s being obtuse? Of course, maybe the proper term is woefully ignorant, and apparently determined to remain so.

Not just white people’s drugs - they’re his white people’s drugs.

Well, duh. White people are misguided victims who have just been taken advantage of. Those brown people, on the other hand...

Considering the way some parents carry on at games, that might be considered cruel and unusual punishment.