Hi, Kanye.

And his hands bound so he can't masturbate to it

Brittany Murphy is glad she died instead of being cast in this.

Would they CGI young Harrison Ford into acting like he gives a fuck, vs. old Harrison Ford being clearly disinterested?

I really hope there's a Star Wars or Jaws reference!

I look forward to its porn parody Uncut Jims.

apocryphal?

“People with pre-existing heart conditions have died on the Downhill Double Dipper waterslide, the Dinosaur immersive ride, Star Tours, Rock ’n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, Body Wars, Mission: Space, and in several instances, Space Mountain”

Forget the animals, I want to know why Cosmo Kramer is on this poster.

Fashion magazine editor. Such a rom com cliche occupation. Why can't they go for more ordinary non-trope jobs like astronaut or dentist?

“'Failure to Launch' gas an accurate title." There you go.

There has got to be a kabal in Hollywood intentionally sabotaging any woman who played a superhero in the 00s.

It is boring to be a fan.

So they're pre-loading excuses for it's failure, huh?

His powers are activated by whiskey!

I think he's about 90% right if we consider "cinema" a special category. Still, he should see Logan.

God, I hope this is Letoless.

So...did they rename Lisa as Lucy just for the lame title drop? God damn, Natalie Portman needs to pick smarter roles.

Why is there a picture of a blobfish at the top of this article?

When you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?