I really wish I could.

Hello, Mr. Lovitz. Didn't know you were on Disqus.

I'm not the only one who thought this article title was a review of a completed movie, right?

That angry BJ really has teeth.

Where is he supporting the President?

Steven Seagal *is* a Trump parody. Or Trump is a Steven Seagal parody. Either way, the joke has gone on far too long now.

Oh my god. That's beautiful.

Sequel title ideas:

Is that how he got his career?

Honestly, his F rating review of London Has Fallen is probably my favorite AVC piece ever. Everybody who hasn’t read it before needs to click that link above.

“Suicide". Got it.

And then he was gay-bashed off the show by homophobes.

You don't remember what year you graduated?

This is the reboot America needs.

Pfft. These fools trying to predict the time the world will end. Obviously it's July 19, 2024.

Only 90s kids remember.

CSB: I actually saw some of the sets when I was driving through a small town near me. It was pretty cool seeing a familiar place transformed into a 19th century general store.

Spiderman 3, Idiocracy, John Carter, Hellboy reboot. You're making this guy sound like poison. Also, I love that his initials are THC.

‘68 for the throwback year? As a 90's kid, just hearing the Scary Stories title hits me with giddy nostalgia. They might have mistargeted the setting.

They really are its forefathers