If you don't vote for doormat salesman, fuck you.

Hat guy has been trying to catch a foul ball for years but safari can’t manage to get one.

“Shot heard round the ring!”

I would read this book.

Our primary objective is to convert all biomass into one continuous sports complex that wraps the globe in fields and bleachers and box seats and concourses and slab concrete tunnels and hyper modern locker rooms where the walls, ceillings, and floors are coated in synthetic skin bio-engineered from the DNA of famous…

I think the managers for every sport should have to wear the team uniform.

That last sentence is so true. It was refreshing to watch the 3rd period of a hockey game without a knife in one hand and bottle of bourbon in the other

That’s the Twitter equivalent of selling someone’s mom to ISIS for a Chipotle gift card.

Let me know when the wave of guilt hits for that comment.

Spot on. I know Drew played football in college, and he lived abroad for a semester in college.

Both tweets relevant.

Why was the anchor for the yellow team the anchor for the yellow team?

Whereas Cubs fans seem to prefer targeting their own black players. And they prefer to mail it to them.

Typical Deadspin, always sticking up for Cardinals fans, or as they call them around here “the greatest fans in baseball”. I’m sick of the pro-Cardinal bias of this place!

A married couple we know recently got pregnant, and sent my wife and me an online survey to rank potential baby names.

I’m gonna build a wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me. I mean, those Spanish-speaking kids won’t know what hit them. Mark my words.

Really? Because I’m a Royals fan, and thus have no love for the Cardinals, yet this is the biggest driver of deadspin’s shtick wearing on me.

And they just earned a lot more of my respect for doing so, as do you for understanding.

Little stuff like that really can make a difference.

How brave

Aoki is a human highlight reel.