Maybe Odubel’s brothers Isengl and Etripl will have more success on the basepaths.

Reporter: Truthfully, Phil, this is insanity.

Put seagull-attracting bread crumbs in the empty seats and maybe the stadium will look more than 1/5th full occasionally

I’ve got 1.5 million reasons to put this one up

What the hell does this have to do with Nick Kryzygyziotis

User-generated content! (throws down smoke-bomb*)

Not only that, but his watching every second of game tape was clearly stolen from Slacker’s TV Man.

All he does is... catch recriminations.

“What could I do to him that life hasn’t done already?”

Sticking it to the Jets must be like writing something uncouth with a Sharpie on the non-bloodstained portion of an unconscious car accident victim’s forehead.

It’s why punitive damages were developed, so that no company could ever be secure in thinking that the accumulated civil judgments would never add up to the money they saved by their malfeasance.

With about as many strikeouts as total bases, I’d settle for his road walk-up music being “Take a Whiff on Me”

As a courtly observer and resident of so-called liberal Austin (which indicts only about 10% of its killer cops), I wonder if justice is ever going to be achieved, even partially, in criminal courts. Any of a about a dozen failures to indict or convict cops in the last few years certainly should evaporate anybody’s…

“Quarantine and outnumber” has been my motto for quite some time now, unfortunately the ‘centrist’ Democratic motto is “let’s spend as much money and time getting 1 Reagan Democrat as we would 100 new voters of color.”

Hell, 90+ percent wanted background checks after Sandy Hook and it didn’t even get a vote, that’s the safety of Citizens United + gerrymandering.

Of course, it’s all relative: 1 in 10 people have positive feelings towards the GOP Congress as a whole, which makes 35% approval look almost universal by comparison.

“First you didn’t want me to get the pony. Now you want me to take it back! Make up your mind!”

+9.7 Wags Above Replacement

What’s it like, looking like living embodiment of the arterial blockages in our nation’s federal court dockets through stupid-ass lawsuits?

He thrived on chaos and had absolutely no optimism or vested interest in things getting better, so I’d say yes, it could have kept him going for another decade (even if he wasn’t strictly a current events/topical comic).