Astros 22-11! Several dongers hit in win over Braves! Off Bartolo Colon for fucks’s sake! WHAT DOES IT TAKE?

I never thought I’d say this, but let’s get some more snooker stories up in here.

I am now a practicing Christian as I have just witnessed the 21st century online equivalent of Jesus feeding the multitudes with just a few fish and loaves of bread.

(Yorkshire accent) “A car? That was a Suburban! Oh, how I dreamed of having a Suburban! There were 21 of us, ‘uddled in the backseat of a Plymouth Reliant K!”

Decker: And that’s my system

This may be destroying the village in order to save it, but I am now hoping my Rockets lose to the Spurs so I can just switch off anything NBA related for another 10.5 months.

#4 is about 90% of it, and has a great lineage going back to getting poor whites to join the Confederate Army to uphold the existing economic order in the South.

Great, it cut out the punch-line: “And that’s the tooth!”

The producer (Arkoff) was big into blaxploitation in the early 70s, but he also financed a bunch of Roger Corman films (esp. the Vincent Price ones), a who’s who of films skewered by MST3K, and strangely enough, important black movies like Cooley High.

These are the worst John Lennon parody lyrics ever.

Considering the Mets’ depleted-ass lineup, ‘anonymous players’ may literally be true, i.e. who the fuck is this guy in a Mets uniform talking to me?

“The best story in baseball keeps getting better.” — Deadspin

I can understand this whiny oral history project bullshit this was Boston’s only basketball title, but the rafters seem to indicate the existence of a shitload of other titles, probably endlessly commemorated on a 24-hour New England channel that just shows slo-mo highlights.

This is truly the sports equivalent of a useless 5-year high school reunion or putting a historical site plaque on a 19th century building that manufactured monocles.

Counterpoint: With the explosion of the salary cap and considering the deals for Joakim Noah and MOZGOV, my 44-old-year, 5'11" ass could be worth $8M/year very soon. I’m not saying it’s right.

(Quinn Snyder, in locker room) Don’t feel bad, guys, The Mailman and Stockton never won shit either.

“The Braves’ Brief Ryan Howard Experiment is Over”

Let’s be fair, the word is hypocrisy, irony may beyond the grasp of an East Lansing townie-beater.

OK, maybe 5 seed, assuming the 4-seed didn’t lose Blake Griffin (and this may be the best year for the Eastern competitiveness/parity in a decade)

A lot of these non-Cavalier Eastern Conference teams are Cinderella stories, if Cinderella were ugly as hell and did not have a fairy godmother and basically toiled unceasingly doing menial jobs until developing black lung from cleaning out chimney residue.