Sign me up. I loathe Bimmers, but if push came to shove—oh, alright—then I would drive this barge if it meant more Xanax, more whining and dining, and moar! wine.

Does anybody know if most nervous flyers are control freaks? I don’t get why you’d be nervous. Everything is out of your control, so let go.

Taking two fast balls for strikes is a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for him.

Where? It’s gotta be one of the countries that requires military service.

Yeah, but how many sacks will he have in the other 14 or 15 games not against the Raiders?

Haute take: sports proves men are more into celebrity gossip than women.

ESPN had this quote of hers from somewhere:

Like soccer, if only America’s best athletes would take up shuffleboard.

Mmm, quoi sans, c’est magnifique!

My initial response was, “Facebook makes a watch, and they named one Red Table Talk? I really don’t understand any. thing. any. more. Let today show that today is the day I am officially old.”

At least Hollywood Life made their Mel B blunder interesting:

“What’s the most damage he can do in three minutes driving it over for me?” she said when her revolting, but soon to be divorced husband made his offer to drive it over from the auto shop three blocks to leave for her. She had her answer when she spied the damage he’d done where the steering wheel meets steering…

DYammMmn, it’s been a looooooOooo0ong time since I have seen this. Wow. Just wow. The things one forgets, and then how quickly all those things are recalled. At once. Overwhelming.

Yup, Earth’s water will drain to Mars via a wormhole that’s below the crust. The plug is sorta like the Death Star’s fatal weakness, but the plug’s schematics weren’t in the database on Scarif. Some had thought it in the Marianas trench, but so far that appears to be wrong. Personally, I think the plug is underneath…

Just the way SNL interjected their relationship into the show. If I had been Pete, I would not have allowed the way it went down, or I would have gone off-script (and lost my job cuz Lorne is a fucking prick about that).

The butthurt is strong with this one.

Oh, I see. Thank you for the correction. I should know better than to make declarative conclusions on things I barely follow.

I called them splitsville when SNL aired its season premier. That was not cool.

Not these two. She’s been in been show business since she was a kid. When did she have time to work on her relationship skills? Same goes for him. Well, I mean, about making time. He’s been on record that he’s hardly dated because he thought he was so screwed up for so long. So, yeah, these two are relatively very…

Well, getting traded was always Plan B once he realized nobody on this team cares like he does from the owner to the front office to the coach to the players. All they care about, respectively, is the appearance of caring, keeping their jobs, saving his job, and Fornite? Fuck if anybody knows the last one.