I tried the same tactic while appearing at traffic court the other day.

I don't want the internet if it's been shut down. It's essentially valueless at that point. What the fuck kind of scam are you running, you piece of shit?

All of this could have been avoided had his caddie suggested a different club.

A grown man basketball player with the nickname 'Baby' sitting on someone's face? Well, if there's anything left that can get Marv Albert aroused, we have found it.

My goodness. I don't think this is what the woman had in mind when she asked for a seat with a good view of the rim.

This was my absolute favorite thing I saw on the internet last year and it's very seldom when I get to show it to anyone who appreciates it.

Note to everyone else: If you haven't seen this clip, and you think you know what it's going to be, it is definitely not that. Please watch it.

He's leaving to devote more time to building a real life dinosaur nature park located on an island off the coast of Costa Rica.

The petition says that Benson's mental health has also been deteriorating. When he was recently asked who the president of the United States was, he replied "Ronald Reagan"

Bet they put a bounty on that third wife.

The Patriots get caught cheating once every few years.

Meanwhile, Packer fans are still waiting for Mike McCarthy's balls to show up.

Ugh.

Hold on Barry, you actually expect me to believe that the NFL knew about a problem and failed to act on it?

WHAT IN HOLY HELL IS THAT??!?!?!? IS THAT SHIT!?

Is that the new Offensive Coordinator for the Browns?

Look, if the Bible tells us anything, it's that God is a fan of bringing a variety plagues on exploited, over-taxed, starving citizens for weeks on end.

He cares about the NFL players so much, he usually meets them 15-20 years sooner than you'd expect.