Jesus Christ, that sounds like a fucking nightmare. I mean a nightmare like someone would write a really strawman critique of the Myers-Briggs test and give that as a super-fictional example.

THEY MADE THOSE?!

I love it. I could see that working in like kind of a Shane Black context where maybe someone has a tiny pistol hidden in a sandwich.

I remember not hating The Sixth Day, but I also feel like it got a weird amount of flack at the time. If that's true, I wonder if that contributed to it.

I basically just want to see him play Jimmy from Last Boy Scout, except fighting a giant metal spider.

The two guys at the valet parking were Nebulan spies sent to steal Powermaster technology.

Fair - I admittedly don't know a ton about Roald Dahl other than You Only Live Twice so this theme is totally lost on me.

welp, there it fucking is. Thanks for saving the noble fucking savages, you candy colonialist.

Was the ice cream good? Was it like actually Western-themed or was it just ice cream with Kevin Kline on the package?

That means I'm doing something right. Thank you.

Oh, absolutely, now that I'm older I appreciate Tommy Lee Jones way more for what he brings to that movie. But when you're, jesus, 9 or 10 like I was? Agent Jay all the way.

How far are we gonna take this analogy? Was Cameron the car's Powermaster/Godmaster partner?

What do I have to do to someday make Kid Annihilation the nickname of a wrestler or boxer?

Oh wow, I already made a White Man's Burden joke previously and I'm sad to see how "right" I was in it. I don't even know where to start with this.

Really, if you wanted to, you might be able to get all "White Man's Burden" about the Oompas. Fuck only knows what they did before Wonka came along.

Foxx is a good call, he might have either played it hilariously straight or gone for the fences too. Not that Will Smith isn't good at comedy, but I feel like someone with a little stronger 'comedy' background might have known what to do with it too - one of the Wayans, or Martin Lawrence maybe.

MONSTERS.

Weird to think of Arnie as still being in the big 3 by the 90s, but he really didn't go away until Collateral Damage, right?

Shit, THOSE were from Phantom Menace? I've seen this a billion places but had no idea it was from Star Wars. Thank you.

I will absolutely accept the Wachowskis directing a 15-minute long video for Will Smith's Matrix theme, hopefully also still involving Sisquo.