That whole “And YOU get a thing! And YOU get a thing! EVERYONE gets a thing! Aaaaghhhhhh!!! *face melts*” meme is one of my favorites that I use entirely too often. I’m serving dinner like “And YOU get a plate of meatloaf! And YOU get a plate of meatloaf! We ALL get plates of meatloaf for dinnerrr!! Wooo!” and my…

That time she gave a brand-new car to everyone in the audience of her aforementioned talk show! Greenleaf, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, A Wrinkle in Time! Yes, Oprah! I love you, Oprah!

Willow and Amy wish you a happy Thanksgiving!

This is Danny. My wife and I adopted her about 2 months ago. She’s a pointer, pit bull, Chihuahua, German Shepherd and a bunch of other things mix. She’s super high energy and can be pretty damn annoying at times, but she’s mostly great

There was one very upsetting furry style sexy sheepdog on a stripper pole, and I’m sorry I ever had to see it. And I’m sorry I’m describing it to you.

My BOSS has been oversharing all of his infertility struggles with me and other coworkers, and goddamn it is so uncomfortable! I don’t need to know why you are taking an extra long ovulation-related lunch break! I don’t want to know about your testosterone butt implants! They have been trying for over a year and it’s…

He never did that to ME... Classic Ann, you beautiful tropical fish. You’re smart as a whip and you’re cool under pressure

It was ridiculous that people thought it was OK to name her without her consent. You can’t just go around telling people’s stories for them. And in this case it was an assumption not based on fact.

I love Rashida. I bet Pixar was overwhelmed with relief when they started reading, but then she hit them with that last sentence like:

The Baltimore O-lineman that pushes Alonso to the ground THEN dives onto him deserved to be ejected way more than Alonso did. ... That was something that served no purpose other than to try to harm Alonso and came close to starting an all out brawl.

Listening to Cowher and Neon Dipshit defend this is amazing. It’s now Flacco’s fault for not getting down sooner.

You are right. Its wrong. You are a fucking degenerate. You are the problem with the world today. Good god, what an asshole.

“Harbaugh knows what just happened—”

“Look at the almost look of shock in the eyes of Flacco.”

Wow, a “making it all about her” and a “not that I’m slut shaming, but I’m slut shaming” combo. Impressive, Mayim.

She spent 8 years scaring old white racists about the “evil black man in the White House”. Fuck her and NBC.

Good. Working at Fox News SHOULD affect your career.