One more thing! A few years ago, it finally dawned on me that the Double Deuce’s owner is DeSoto from freakin’ EMERGENCY!

you are a garbage person that hates joy

Actually, it was Sting and Jimmy Page who attacked the coach with the kettlebell. Diddy just stood around and said “Yeah! Uh huh!” a lot, then claimed the attack for himself.

“Police have stated that his license plate is “very distinctive””

BRB changing my name to Glert.

This is 50 Shades of Disgusting.

Adding insult to injury, he ripped out her pacemaker’s battery & fired it at Paul Goldschmidt.

CX500, later the CX650.

omg one time I was with this guy and he accidentally grabbed he a rubbing alcohol bottle in the dark instead of lube. Burned my asshole SO MUCH. And his dick too.

Man, just when you think you’ve seen every kind of organic/vegan elitist...

I would like to offer the advice to any recent MTF readers that Sylk is the lubricant which most closely resembles biological snatch juice in texture. It’s made from kiwifruit.

my tears of shame and regret have always worked for me

Isn’t that diesel exhaust still cleaner than the ambient NJ air?

Silly question but wouldn’t it be easy for one our super stealthy and capable SSNs to sneak in and sink this sub the next time its at sea? The NoKos would be unable to prove anything and we could make a big show about assisting in the rescue ops for such a terrible “accident”. The missiles and warheads would be…

That was Josh.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

For as much public adulation that Clinton gets, he really has a fucking awful legacy in a lot of areas.

Ya, you’re wrong about Tom Brady. If a grown ass man wearing Ugg boots doesn’t make him unfuckable, an Apple watch isn’t really gonna make a difference

Tastes better when dirty. Burns some old grease and adds smokey flavors.