Are they going to discuss what Shakespeare called "country matters?"

But there is already a SportsCenter.

You people at Gawker need to get him working on that Jezebel rape-gif problem, there's some people need a good Diego Maradona slapping.

I found myself pondering, what is it that is so odd about this car's styling. And then I realized, it is a vagina.

Yeah, they dress like a 12 year old. Lots of floppy hats, too.

Don't know how that dude with the model-T lumber mill lived to full age with both arms still attached, if he is in the habit of using it like a table saw like that.

This one time, at OSU band camp . . .

Andrew OHehir says it better: "Allen airs out a number of familiar themes here, including his quasi-metaphorical interest in stage magic, his rejection of the spiritual or supernatural in all forms (with the concomitant conclusion that life has no meaning) and – not to put too fine a point on it – his hankering after…

It was wrong for me to call him smug; Woody very often tries to humanize his pretentiousness by playing the neurotic nebbish intellectual. But then he also will have another actor play him as his internal fantasy of himself, the alpha male little-girl-loving pretentious intellectual. I bet Gary Puckett and the Union…

Woody Allen made a film about a smug pretentious atheist intellectual falling for a younger, flighty, unsophisticated manic pixie dream girl? Wow, that's a first. It would be easier and less expensive for him to say "I am very smart, but I get off on young dumb chicks."

What were they supposed to do? Just before they tasered and beat the drone, they saw it drop a glassine packet on the ground, which from their professional experience to be of a type often used by narcotics dealers to package their products, and then they say the drone reach into its pocket and advance upon them in a…

Amongst the thousands of old sayings and truisms you will encounter in life, many worthy of remembering, many complete bullshit, the most true and most valuable one to remember at all times, is that there is no situation on earth that a cop cannot make worse. the second best is the one that says that with time, she…

Doors that open backwards are a nice theory, but they suck suck suck with a terrific sucking suckiness in reality. When you park in a parking lot, and open a front and rear door, you are then trapped in a cage and unable to do anything. There is not room enough to get your shopping cart into that space, and you are…

That is actually true of Apollo 13, too. But damn I could die happy if I never see him talking to Wilson again, or versusing a volcano.

There has never been a Tom Hanks movie that stands up on a second viewing. I think this movie was part of a secret CIA mind control plot to make a hero out of a mentally disabled person, so that people would then embrace George W. Bush when he made his rise to power shortly after. Orchstrated by GHW Bush the ex-CIA…

That old Mr. Brougham may well have pronounced his name "Broom," that is in the fine English tradition of smoothing out and simplifying their old frenchy aristocratic names ("Feathestonehaugh" is pronounced "Fanshaw," Chalmondalay is "Chumley," etc.) but all you need to do is find some of the old GM commercials on…

He has visible creep-rays emanating from him.

And then pretty much that same generation went from zilch space flight capability to landing on the moon and coming back in like 8 years. Whats the development time for the joint strike fighter thingy going on now? Or the Osprey? We can't do shit anymore, have exported our manufacturing technology almost completely…

Which goes to show that driving drunk is NOT the equivalent of playing Russian roulette. Its more akin to buying 10 lottery tickets instead of 1. That increases your chances of winning tenfold, but that still leaves you with a one in a million chance of winning.

The power point is obviously meant to prevent employees from creating discoverable records that an opponent in a lawsuit could use, and the presence of exaggerated, emotional, hyperbolic language in such records could be taken out of context and used against the company. Now, lets get to the definition of "ironic." …