Hot take: Selfies contribute to global warming.

Counterpoint: me and my doggy who is going to cross the old rainbow bridge in 3.5 hours. :/

In the south you do not have to be dirty at all to have these assholes. We have woods in the backyard which seems to make it 1000 times worse. Any time the weather changes I just stock up on bug stuff because they are coming in. You cannot stop them. They are going to sit on the couch with you and watch tv and…

$50 million is a hell of a lot of money. Even as a dude with zero interest in men (especially gross probably sociopathic ones), I’d still do it, and do whatever awful sex stuff he wanted, because god damn $50 million.

Congratulations! :)

Man, I miss living in mostly bug-free L.A.

50 million would get me to marry literally anyone. I'll blow trump for a tenth of that.

When I was 14 I went to Florida with some friends and stayed in their grandmother’s mobile home in a big old folk’s mobile home park. The first night, as we were falling asleep, I heard a weird fluttering noise and freaked out. I turned the light on there was a GIANT “palmetto bug” on the wall. I started screaming and…

Seriously people who live in NYC are so self-indulgent and obnoxious about their city. I like NYC, and have always enjoyed the time I spend there. But NYCers act like they are the only people experiencing seasons, and like the things they complain about aren’t the direct byproducts of the very things the exalt about…

Something started to crawl down my arm at my bf’s house last night in the dark while we were watching a movie out of the corner of my eye I saw a solid light brown bug body and I simultaneously screamed and jumped up and furiously brushed off my arm and I scared the shit out of his dog and I’ve no idea what it was…

Tell me again how New York is the greatest city in the world. I’ll be over here where there aren’t any flying roaches.

I’m a guy and, not only would I marry him for $50 million, but I’d probably do every kinky thing he had in mind for however long I was contractually obligated. I’d just lay back and think of England or something like that. It’s all about the dollah, dollah bill, y’all. Of course, my wife may not be thrilled by that…

Bublé literally refers to raising his child as “babysitting.” Barf-a-fucking-roni.

You do know you just did that here.

Okay but it also has a clause preventing you from bringing up their supposed sanctimony when none of them has even said anything to you.

Do you eat meat? That so sad. I have an informative pamphlet you should read about plant based diets. It will change your life. /s

DJ has 5 inches and 35lbs of muscle on Vin.. it wouldn’t be much of a fight. I’d like to see it since I’ve never cared much for Vin.

I root for other countries in a condescending way. “Aww, Japan’s in the top five right now! Good for them, they must be so proud.”

It makes me really uncomfortable that nobody seems to be saying much about the fact that he’s so much younger and how that makes him extra vulnerable. Nineteen is technically an adult, but you’re still young an easy to take advantage of. Not you, but the conversation in general. I feel like people get blinded by the…

Trying not to judge. Trying not to judge. Oh fuck it, I’ll judge. No, no, no, no, dear God this is not ok. (Back to the Olympics. The women’s soccer team just took the lead!)