Sort of. My parents have been friends with another couple for 35+ years now and the husband half of that couple is the fucking worst to anyone and everyone in customer service. When I was in high school I became fully aware of how awful he was and stopped attending any outings that would include him. One day he gave…

Leave it in the state you want to enter. Yes, it’s a job to clean up after an event like that. But we shouldn't leave a huge mess on purpose. That's a really nasty thing to do to somebody.

No, it’s not okay! Your parents are terrible. There are large trash cans outside the entrance, pick up your trash and put it in there on your way out. Don’t make some teenager’s life worse just because no one is standing there to stop you, please.

As someone who is seriously allergic to cashews - screw this mother!

That McDonalds story had me laughing- as a former late-night drive-thru stoner, yeah, that wasn’t weed they were smoking. You don’t get violent on weed- everything is just, you know, awesome. “This is the best Whopper I’ve ever had! Which is weird because we were at Taco Bell!”

Also, ‘dildochugger’ is my new favorite…

I had two bosses at Borders before I managed the place. One was legitimately insane and routinely threw books at me.

If you don’t eat cheese you ain’t flawless.

If a Vegan does crossfit, what do they rush to tell you about first?

Yeah but then this story would need like, 30 more episodes.

Everyone in this story needs to eat a kamehameha.

I met my husband through my ex, as we were all part of a group of friends in college. This isn’t a skeevy thing where I dumped my ex for my husband. I actually got dumped by the ex (who was my fiance at the time) and he actually suggested my husband and I hook up, because he thought since we were both overweight, we’d…

hahaha yeah. it’s especially funny to me because i think—despite literally never being personally upset about anything—that i have also developed a reputation among some jezebel commenters as being super hostile when like, as summer said on the OC, “you haven’t seen hostel till you put me up in one”

Those questions drive me crazy. It’s like, “Explain to me how people of color are different from white people. And by the way, you can’t get mad I’m asking a stupid question because that’s being hostile.”

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

Since this ended in a thai, it went to a shootout.

“If you’re finding something sexual about little kids, you should probably get your head checked because that isn’t healthy.”

No family is safe

*gasp* I want this dress so bad. Everything about it is perfect.

Feels like America just won the World Cup.