We bought a bio-locking safe for the gun I keep for home defense. It can only be opened with my fingerprint. Hopefully, my kid will never even see the safe. But if she does, I'm going to tell her that it's a trap for the souls of little children to be transported to the Containment Unit, where they don't get any toys…

Yes. Yes. I used to watch The Ten Commandments far more often than any kid should, for reasons kids probably shouldn't.

I don't know what to say that I needed no explanation to identify "Zaldammo" as I like to call him. I read the shit out of These Happy Golden years, semi-pervishly imagining what happens after she tours her new home, built for her by hunka hunka.

I LOVE the way that Harley is portrayed in the Injustice: Gods Among Us comics. That's the series of comics that has Harley telling Green Arrow that "the Arrow Cave" is a stupid name, and that "the Quiver" would be cooler, giving parenting advice to Black Canary, and all sorts.

No no no "sex lies and videotape" James Spader. Whoosh.

yoooooooooo Larry is the name of my favorite weed strain

This guy. Marvin Gorgeous Gaye.

Does Jia want to fuck Mrs. Butterworth?

I wrote a chapter in my dissertation that in my head I titled the "Frederick Douglass Is So Hot" chapter.

I can tell you that the Timbers Army definitely has issues with Toronto's 4th DP, the Jozy allocation, and many other MLS machinations.

I live in Seattle and I really can't stand Sounders fans who follow them and them alone. This kinda shit should be rubbed in their smarmy faces at every opportunity.

Actually no you're right. MLSE was purchased by the two largest telecom companies in canada in 2011.

I mean GOOD FOR HER.

2 Live Crew did it first.

nah, the most punk rock thing ever was that girl in L7 taking out her tampon and throwing it in the crowd at Reading.

Was the storage unit for his collection of Jamiroquai hats?

I don't normally advocate this but...

the "woo woo" did it for me. i wish i could star this again

I read that as "iron worker who was a secret librarian," and I was like, "dreamboat!"

I have slept with so many embarrassing people. I made a lot of poor decisions in my late teens/early 20s. I lost my virginity to a 16 year old drug dealer when I was 18. And then I slept with him again a couple weeks later because I thought it might make me feel like it was a thing and not just a truly horrible idea.…