I mean, I had a roommate who was constantly going home for the weekend and having miscarriages but this is a whole other level.

in my dreams, kate middleton calls william prince dubs all the time. harry does it now, too, and camilla will pull out a well-timed prince dubs crack whenever she's had a bit of tipple and will is being unapproving/wet blanket-y.

Riding the cotton pony is weak enough without having to dill with dubious hundred dollar tampons.

I didn't realize I was pregnant until seven months in. I had spotting, which I took for just another annoyance of my irregularly-scheduled period, was overweight, and straight-up did not gain any weight. In fact, I actually *lost* weight, but didn't notice because the kiddo made up for the lost weight, and she was…

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

Well, my now husband and were having pizza one afternoon. After we were done eating, one thing lead to another and I starting giving him a good ol BJ. I was horny, so was he, so I got on top and started riding away, enjoying ourselves. Then I felt a slight burning sensation. I was like, oh whatever, it'll go away.…

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

VAGINA DENTATA

She kinda looks like a bald eagle?

She always looks weird to me.

jia you did a good job

Well, if you want to play the Broncos you will have to beat someone like that team of coked up flag football frat bros first, and then the high school team down the road. IF you beat them, you might get a shot at the Broncos.

We have it for soccer, at least.

As a fellow big dude, let me say that soccer is not made for us and any big guy who plays soccer must have some stupid-class cardio. That shit is hard as hell, and God forbid you even graze a normal soccer-sized guy, there is no benefit of the doubt for you.

Never mind (Wikipedia). Soccer never ceases to amaze me. This is what we need in a America: an annual football tournament in which me and some guys from my town could play the Broncos.

He's also an enormous Liverpool fan. From the BBC:

No need to fixate on his exact weight. You'll Never Weigh Akinfenwa.

I've seen a few reports listing him at "16 stone," which Google and non-caveman-style measurements tell me means that he's a robust 224. Jesus, I'm surprised he hasn't tried to eat Skrtel yet.

Because fuck you thats why