My experience with Europeans and our horrifically unhealthy guilty pleasures like those cheddar biscuits is that it's like tempting Adam and Eve with the forbidden fruit.

If the best defense you have for something that you've served to someone else is "oh, it's...food", you really need to reassess whether you should run an establishment that provides things that other people are going to consume. Good that it was, in fact, food, since my mind went where your did, and I thought you…

Maybe the dumbest thesis ever.

We're focusing on words now. One step at a time.

If only he had some tact.

Great. Another moron who doesn't understand the definition of "free speech." Having the right to freedom of speech doesn't inoculate you from criticism of your free speech.

Because grief comes in waves, and on a weird timeline. I don't think not having cried yet is at all strange.

Just when you think we've hit

Good for Katy Perry. I know people are going to criticize her and say, "Well if you don't want to deal with paparazzi then you shouldn't have become a pop star!" Just because someone is rich and famous doesn't mean they're not entitled to privacy and it doesn't give these leeches the right to go overboard.

I'm the Editorial Director of the entirety of Gawker Media, and I while I appreciate your feedback, we are institutionally down with cannabis, both as a subject matter and as a personal adulterant choice.

My first crush was on a girl in the year above me, who for various space-related reasons I ended up sharing a classroom with anyway. I remember I sat opposite her at least some of the time. Her name was Victoria and I thought she was the prettiest person I'd ever seen: pale skin, straight dark hair, not already…

There are probably a lot but honestly, my biggest dealbreaker is wanting kids. I don't want them - so much so that I got my tubes tied earlier this year.

Step back, y'all. I got this.

Uggs in Spring or Summer or Winter or Fall.

I know you didn't mean it to be read that way but I definitely read that as an injury from mental sports. "Yeah, I coulda gone pro but I really fucked myself up doing a crossword puzzle."

Full kit wanker.

If you squint, you can just make out his tiny little hair plugs. So cute!

"Right... Wayne's son..."

I'd really like to know how many of Ronaldos teammates genuinely like him. On a team with the absolute top talent you can get as a player, he is still bitching about mistakes by his teammates and passes not coming his way. On the national team at the WC (with slightly less talent than in Madrid), his…