In the new edition, I was asked to update the story by changing old-fashioned names that today's readers would relate to. So we've now got a Kristy and the dear slut Bambi is "Madison." But they did retain their personalities.

My grandmother is Lois Duncan, I just forwarded this article to her, I think she'll get a kick out of it! I grew up reading this, and I always found it to be a wonderful, chilling tale, full of exaggerated characters. You guys have really hit the nail on the head!

"Sandra Bullock assisted in the woman's recovery by bringing her water and fanning her to get cool while waiting for the ambulance."

I may be wrong, but the line "The kids would constantly call Chris when he was with Jennifer..." read to me that she was having the kids call Chris specifically when he was with Jennifer, which sort of seems like she's using her children to further some kind of personal vendetta, and that doesn't seem super cool from…

my friend and I have been discussing if these breasts are to be referred to as AR-DD's or Weapons of Mass Nutrition. I'm torn.

It wasn't a fart machine. Snape used the "Expellianus" curse on him.

I'm in the unique position of not cringing one bit at this. Because as of yet I haven't heard a poop-related hookup story worse than my own.

I don't TRY to do it, but if I have to poop at a guys house (or if he's at mine) I poop. I figure if he can't handle me pooping/knowing that I poop etc he probably doesn't deserve to see me naked.

Except in my Real-Person Fanfictions, where Snape gets them man-pregnant.

May this become the rallying cry of all plebes* who still eat gluten: I SAVE BREAD!**

This is a classic example of the so-called "pro-life" movement proving that it has NOTHING to do with life...but with fetus. They are pro-cells. That's it. I wonder how they exfoliate.

Oooooh, eek. My grandma has a story like this, I don't remember all the details but I think what basically happened was she was living with her sister and my mom and uncles in NYC and one night she and her sister came home and we're getting ready to put the kids to bed when my grandma went into her and her sisters…

I know a girl who uses those terms. She always describes herself as an alpha and how she can't get along with other alphas and how alphas don't like it when other alphas are in their territory and I'm just sitting there like, are you human beings or fucking tigers? What is all this nonsense?

I can't win this contest obviously but wanted to throw in my scary story, for your amusement and holy shit pleasure:

When I was a teenager, my grandfather (my mom's dad) started suffering from dementia and came to live at our house for a few years. It was a nice time being with him, but it was also sad, watching him decline. The dementia went mostly as expected; strangely misplaced items, general confusion. But there was one really…

I was staying in a hotel last year and was up working very late into the night. Finally, around 3 or 4am, I turned off the light and tried to get some sleep. The thing is, as soon as I did, I heard breathing. Rhythmic breathing, coming from the corner of the room. I tried to pretend it was the heater or a noise…

Back in 2007, I worked as "student security" at a college in rural Washington State. Basically, I walked around the campus with a partner (or drove the department golf cart if we were lucky) and made sure exterior doors were locked on all campus buildings. One rainy Saturday night in April, my partner and I were…

Straight out bragging here. I buy boxes of full size candy at Costco and give them all out. I live on a corner in a really nice house and light up the yard with inflatable ghosts and spiders and pumpkins so everyone knows there is candy here. Lots of kids get driven to the neighborhood (we see the cars) and I have a…

Sounds like his member is hangin' tough.

Well I'm glad someone finally recognized Halloween for what it is, yet another socialist reuse concocted to trick hard working rich people in to helping the less fortunate. I've been onto that scam for years which is why instead of handing out candy I hand out pamphlets carefully explaining to the children that they…