I vote for the birds rights activist in place of Yoko.

My dad is a surgeon and he reports constantly joking around with the nurses/surgical staff during operations. Some people hear this and are all, “what the hockey sticks! He needs to be focused and serious!!!” After performing life-saving surgery day in and day out for more than 20 years... how somber can you really be…

Okay, first of all, I get what this lady is saying but if I ever needed an abortion I would much prefer the tone of whoever is talking to me about it to be “casual”. It’s just a medical procedure, it doesn’t need to be a harrowing and incredibly serious discussion.
I get why she feels the need to apologize, but I don’t…

Okay so I want to be all feminist enraged...but Komen is shit...

She sees her as a role model.

“Maria doesn’t have any issues with Giuliana. She sees her as a role model. Giuliana doesn’t feel the same way.”

Gawker bases most of their stories off of everyone’s cookies and I think everyone deletes their cookies except me and all I use the internet for is watching Amy Schumer, so Jezebel figures they need to inject as much Schumer into their daily programming.

Dads not being able to do their kids’ hair is one of those things that seems like a small thing, but is actually a HUGE thing, and is the embodiment of about 16 different kinds of inequality. It makes me INSANE with fury.

How dad braids his twins’ hair.

Dads? Fuck that. I’m a 29 year old woman and I don’t know how to freaking braid. You need right arms, three mirrors and a legion of bobby pins and ponytail holders to do that shit. Impossible!

Said as much yesterday and got my comment deleted, so I wouldn’t expect an answer.

I’ve long said Amy’s talents are not in her standup. She put together a great team of writers and she is maybe one of the few comics whose show is better (by a long shot, really) than her comedy. Her sketches are very smart, but many of them can’t translate well into solid standup jokes. The Friday Night Lights parody…

Clover, I like Amy Schumer and Hannibal Buress, but isn’t there a code of journalistic ethics that requires you to disclose when you’re shilling for Comedy Central?

I was super psyched for it, and then the first joke was a trans joke...and then a whole tirade about how low scoring soccer is. Fucking seriously? I was half expecting “WHAT is the DEAL with airplane food??” next. Come on, Hannibal. Do better.

Interesting. I don’t usually hear privileged white women on Twitter telling me about black men.

I work with a bunch of Chinese people who constantly cook our family dinners with still-in-shell shrimp. They eat the shells and I’m the oddball that’s like “thanks but no thanks.”

Bootleg-hypnotize

Sometimes, people from production would stand outside your room, when you’d think that they didn’t know you were up. They’d whisper, “You have to get him back to Buckingham Palace. The Royal Family’s very upset. They’re not happy about the show. It’s this new thing they’ve never done before, and they’re trying to be…