This issue is far too complicated and personal for me to give a shit about what other people think. Honestly.

This whole rant reeks of WELL CAN I SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER THEN?

You’re doing it all wrong, you pay for the abortion with your food stamps then you trade the

haha oh god, I meant TVs!!

It is so much smarter to try and foster the kind of customers you want instead of trying to please the ones you want to go the fuck home.

Ugh this is like a customer I had once who thanked me for bringing him a to go box and I said “no problem!” and he went off for like 10 minutes about how he hadn’t assumed it was a problem and why would it be a problem and blah blah blah.

Man, I used to love to chug a glass of ice cold milk. I think I was in college by the time my gut started protesting.

I worked for Trudy’s (a tex mex chain in Austin) for a little while in college and they managed to cover the bases as such:

TRULY A GROUNDBREAKING TAKE ON THINGS, MR. SEINFELD.

Seriously, I loved my wedding dress, but this... dyinnnng

ha, perfect gif.

Perfect choice of a picture, he looks so fucking evil!

Oh I meant about Mango.

So sad to hear! I’ve been tempted by a few jackets on the website but I hate buying outerwear sight unseen — it can go SO SO WRONG and I’d rather not have the hassle of returns if I can help it.

I feel the stirrings... of an idea for a halloween costume....

My mom was raised supa-catholic, must be something in that communion wine, eh?

To quote my beloved Mitch Hedberg (RIP fool), This shirt is dry clean only, which means.... it’s dirty.

He is pretty great, as is his mom, who definitely raised her sons right.

I work in a small office (3 women) and the cabinet below the sink looks like a goddamn CVS aisle. It is a wonder to behold. There is stuff in there I didn’t even know existed, like thong panty liners?!

I have a bag I bought at the Zar like 3 years ago and it has held up pretty well. The clothes are hit-or-miss... I always shop in person and most of the time I leave empty handed because a lot of it just feels so cheap.