I didn’t even think about it like that. Do my friends even LIKE me, jesus, last year one gave me a homemade birthday present.

But we have no idea how, exactly, they extracted these funds/items/promises from her. What if they coerced her with threats of abandonment, violence, other abhorrent things?

It only takes one Chevy Chase to completely ruin those white sand beaches.

Its like, thanks, but could you also give me a lifetime supply of bug repellent and make the whole island air conditioned? Kthnxbaiiiiii

I’m sorry, this totally and completely takes the cake, the conclusion of the Vanity Fair article:

I’m listening to Roy Orbison and somehow Crying matched up perfectly with Dwight and now in my mind it’s always going to be Dwight Orbison.

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE DOUBLE OVEN!

I had a girlfriend do that (preach about water intake) a few years ago. “I lost like 15 pounds!” she swore at me. Then I found out she was drinking full-sugar sodas and swapped them out for water. DUH. Of course she lost weight. She just cut a bunch of calories from her diet!

I would feel terrible if I only pooped twice a week... I don’t understand how that works. Does your friend just not eat any fiber?

Your dad looks like he just looked into the bucket of truth or something. What an amazing picture.

THIS PICTURE IS MAKING ME CRY. meta.

I’m in awe every time I see mountains. I grew up in Houston, what can I say, they always take my breath away. The same thing with being at sea — being totally surrounded by water, especially at night when one can actually see the stars — just kind of melts my brain for a wee bit.

Did anyone else glance at the photo and think she was holding some kind of Benjamin Button baby-adolescent in the crook of her arm? Just me? OOOK then.

Jaden and His Need For Capitalization drives me mad I tells ya! Mad!

THAT LEGIT HAPPENED. He was doing a book signing/presentation at my local dec center and I stayed until almost everyone was gone (because I hate making conversation at the valet stand with all the snooty designistas my city has been churning out) and grabbed a couple of flutes of champagne for the both of us.

Come sit next to me, Loose_Seal, we can speculate all about Blue Ivy, Suri Cruise, and Shiloh Jolie’s memoirs. I have literally been waiting for Suri’s since the day she was born. CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE I CAN I CAN IMAGINE. And I do!

The Bloggess’ first book was that, for me. Laughing to the point of tears on a plane. And she fully acknowledged she’d left out at least a whole book’s worth of material.

But what about my first memoir which details feeling pretty average growing up in a suburb of a large metropolis, then as an adult, working as a purchasing agent for an uber luxury interior design firm and getting to poke through the closets of the rich and quasi famous? WHAT ABOUT THAT? There was going to be a whole…

Stunning!

I just commented that my uncle (our officiant) barely kept it together while I was blubbering. I am positive he probably had a shot of vodka and a stern talking to himself right before the ceremony. His daughter was our flower girl... we didn’t really set him up for success.