but don't you love the delicious feeling of slipping between two cool smooth sheets?

This. My husband made it to 20 without knowing how to clean a bathroom because it was always his mother or sister who did it. He LIKED to cook so he know how to cook and clean up. He LIKES tidy floors so he was already vacuuming.

Pooh-pooh all you like but my husband didn't know how to clean a bathroom until he was 20. His mother and/or sister cleaned the shared bathroom when he was living at home, and when he moved out, his mom would come and clean occasionally and he would just... let it get disgusting.

DYINNNNNNG YES PLEASE

I 100% believe that Nick Offerman carved that canoe and I curse anyone who tries to tell me different.

No, Common brought his mom for his date because I am married.

Makes me laugh every time.

Penis Bra! Dying over here!

You and your dad both sound amazing!

Amazing.

Favorite toilet-time activity, age 5: wetting toilet paper wads, throwing it up onto our terrible popcorn ceiling. THEY ALL STUCK. I think my parents caught on about 6 months in to this endeavor, when the ceilings were a good 6" lower in the bathroom than they were anywhere else in the house.

I do not remember getting the talk. I do, however, remember the day I learned (or it actually clicked?) the penis actually went INSIDE — I was 6, at the bus stop, and completely disgusted.

I loved watching TV at my grandparents' house laying on my belly, about 3 feet away from the TV, chin in hands. I was probably 3 at the time of this story. My grandfather walked by and pretended to step on me. I rolled over and exclaimed, "GRANDPA! YOU'RE A PENIS!"

My own maternal grandmother does it to me! THE WOMAN HAS LITERALLY KNOWN ME FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE and pretends she can't spell my name.

WHY WOULD A PARENT EVER ENCOURAGE THAT KIND OF INSANE BEHAVIOR - WHAT IS HAPPENING - I CANNOT EVEN.

oh no, he means the smell of the veggies cooking smells like farts! and I agree, but it doesn't stop me from preparing and enjoying them.

I wonder if all mothers of sons feel this way but some can contain it and others can't. And I also wonder if some mean it in an aggressive you-aint-shit way and others are just reminiscing/coping with having an adult son when they still remember that little baby boy.

YIKES.

It is creepy and gross and weird. I have a friend with a 6 month old who posted something about her son being her valentines day date and watch out ladies and blah blah blah. Unfollowed immediately.

That MIL shade is fine form. I don't think mine is capable of such a move. I wonder if KJ's husband is even aware of it?