I nominate Larry David.

Strange. When your cousin Glenn introduced me to you, I thought you were pretty attractive.

Back when I was in Little League, the coaches gave me the nickname "Yogi" because of the ferocity I played with and how often I got big hits in the clutch. Also probably because I said some pretty ridiculously silly things.

Hrm. Maybe just draw a smiley face on a plastic spoon and use that instead.

Would you please perform your little script with some Star Wars action figures? And put it up on YouTube?

Most of the time I use "come" but when it comes to my own seminal fluid, I call it "cumb." It has a nicely artisan feel to it that makes my secretion that much more special. As I say to my potential bedmates, "come for the come, stay for the cumb."

He also wrote the TV commercial jingle for Ziggy Starburst candies.

The zombat?

Ha ha! April O'Neal!

Stupid sexy starwipe.

I don't think it knows what it is yet. There's snarky celeb gossip, and knowing articles about celebrity gossip reporting itself. But then there's articles like the "Most Shocking Moments from the 2015 Emmys" which runs with a pretty thin non-celeb-focused play on the subject, and sounds like it'd be more at home on…

Actually, not even an echo chamber where folks can passionately agree with what's presented. Just a…space? For words?

Doctor unknown, is that you?

Oh my god, the meta- in that article is twistier than a four-dimensional pretzel. And worst of all, it's not really funny. There's a perfunctory cleverness to it, mainly because it's so utterly self-aware. But the levels of abstraction it goes through—examining celebrities, celebrity culture, celebrity cultural…

At this point, the remaining AV Club editors are just rubbing it in the former Dissolve editors' faces.

I blame certain AV Club commenters for inspiring such behavior in me. It's not my fault. Nope.

Roiland's struggle to maintain coherence and eventually petering out and imploding just gets me every time.

Followers of Harmontown will recognize that this joke was a prod at Jeff Davis, who essentially works on this riff over and over. "Pringles Dick" and "Chicken Noodle Soup Dick" being the two best known examples.

Turbulent Juice, Personal Space.

*hastily blur out shots that featured Steve Rannazzisi*