Ha! I like “get beaky.” So you get to feed them! That’s gotta be fun, they’re such weird eaters. Glug!

That is so cool! How does one care for a pelican? I mean just the bare outline, I don’t wanna take up your whole day! 😊

I LOVE THE WHAT YOU DID THERE PELICAN

Why did Sesame Street send out a blank tweet?

(sorry I know we’re not yassing anymore. But WHOOP)

Given that they’re freshly toasted... hmm nyumnyumnyum... srsly, English muffins only function when they’re toasted!

His 20s were full of stories of him trashing hotel rooms, attacking random people who mildly offended him, doing ridiculously dangerous things, and intentionally self-injuring. We noticed. We just labeled him as an exciting bad boy who seemingly calmed down when he took up with Vanessa Paradis.

Has Johnny Depp always been gross, but we just didn’t notice, or did he become gross recently? Gross.

Wow. I really hope people never call Heard a golddigger again. If I’m honest with myself, I would have kept at least a decent portion of the same settlement if I were in her shoes, and wouldn’t have blamed her if she decided to keep all of it and treat it as a nest egg.

I saw this earlier today.

Good on Amber for choosing to do something positive with money that would always remind her of a dark time. I’d just like to point out that the media and the general public would rake her over the coals if she had chosen to keep the money - which would be well within her rights. I hope people will finally leave her…

I have nothing to add except I’m really happy there was a tweet beat today.

Yes if her legs really go like that then I have some questions about her butt.

I have kid relatives who seemed to have gone overnight from toddlers to driving cars and going to college. The arrow of time is a fucking. dick.

I was in a sorority and did this dumb door stacking thing. I’m also a feminist, far-left progressive, and many of my “sisters” were, too. In the South, no less!

It is. My former neighbor has twin daughters who joined the same sorority. The neighbor was hosting a lovely party and another neighbor, from Argentina and unfamiliar with the Greek system, asked what the sorority thing was all about. The twins went in to the process of how they got to be in the sorority, the…

ADPi has great parties. Here’s a photo from one.

TWEET like nobody is watching