Me too! I think heavy alcoholic drinking causes malnourishment (hence the bruising) because humongous booze intake prevents/prohibits the body from absorbing vital nutrients. The skin on my hands was also very thin/ fragile. Alcoholism sucks.

Shit, I’m only 35 but I’ve been refinishing an antique mirror in my garage which has meant hours staring down at myself. It’s been jarring. I’m glad that’s a known unflattering angle.

she’s always covered in bruises. i think it’s probably a combo of bruising easily and falling a lot while drunk. when i was drinking i used to be covered in bruises

Counterpoint: sloths. Game, set, match.

First, I love your screen name!

See, I live in one of those states where everyone masturbates to their guns, and this shit right here is why I tend not to confront people. People are fucking crazy.

Shinnecock Bay

Absolutely correct. I have bipolar II & grew up with an abusive mother so I used to love my highs & lows - it wasn’t until I got over being addicted to my own brain’s highs that I started seeking out normal partners who value me & don’t create drama (when I had partners who didn’t create drama, I of course…

I have a panic attack every time i hear about a democrat who wants to vote for Trump just to spite Hillary.

I can’t hear Michael Bolton without thinking of Office Space.

I was really hoping Bruce was going to come on, look right into the camera and say “that means you, Chris Christie. I hate you.”

No one ever asks me where anything is anymore because of Mel Brooks. Also, I ended a blind date because the guy called Mel Brooks a hack and said that he did not care for the Golden Girls. That’s too much bullshit to take all in one shot like that.

Big Foot who is most definitely in the “ain’t nobody got time for this” camp most of the time went on this long and winding diatribe about something. At some point there was a loud crash in the other room, startling her. She puts her hand to her chest and says “oh my dear goodness.” which was frankly so out of…

The “Dear me” was a cherry on that literary sundae

I love how in America there are reactions like “Ain’t nobody got time for this!” And in England you get proper, polished narrations as if we were in some old timey crime novel.

It’s not a funny story but this quote was kind of hilarious in a Downton Abbey way.

If Calvin Harris and JLo are boning, he wins, forever.

I really want to know how Kim Richards keeps getting away with allowing her dog to viciously attack people. I get that her sister wasn’t going to report her for what Kingsley did to her daughter but I’m fairly certain this is the 4th or 5th person attacked by him. I don’t think the dog should be put down but…

This has applied to Lindsay’s life for the past 15 years or so