Mr. Killick is a controller. Did you know that the public can listen to the chatter on the internet? Himself does this often, either for training or simply for white noise. He also plays a controller game on his phone (now free! on the App Store folks, get it while it's hot!). He's waaaaaay into this job. And…

The police report contains some truly horrifying stuff, and not to distract at all from this, ever read EVERY WORD of a police report? You get some gems. Just wanted to pull a little tidbit out of the full report: "Koppenhaver was wearing. . . a white shirt which read "Alpha Male Shit Clothing Company[.]" Should…

It should really take less than two days for you to read and rank, no? I wait with baited breath.

And it's only Monday, bubba.

And where are the attorneys?! When they were all out of work/underemployed just out of law school, a few would go and observe police behavior at Occupy sites. Reporters, observers, attorneys- it's a gatdamn shame that it takes more than the watching eyes of the citizenry to remind police of their duty, but that…

Take it easy, duder, and be really sweet to yourself tonight. Couch nests (real pillows, not couch pillows), boozy drink of the opposite of the outdoors temperature, crap cinema/TV, Cheetos Munchies, and kittens, if they're your thing. Bask in the warmth of shit-.gif free comment land. You're home now.

I used to be a cocktail server at a couple of comedy clubs in town. I had this job while I was a full time student and it was absolutely the perfect way to spend my free hours: getting a leetle (lot) drunk while making wads of cash, working with AMAZING servers and bar staff and TERRIBLE everyotherstaffposition. …

Lolsy. Nope, but now you've got me thinking: how sweet to be (full name) The Queen Anne's Revenge. Or USS Adultosaur.

I was named after a ship. Sally Ride has a ship, and somewhere, scooting along, there is a little boat that has a human.

If you are not "free to go," you are under arrest. People get it confused all the time, particularly when cops don't articulate the arrest, the reasons for the arrest, or the facts supporting probable cause. Confusion not aided by TV depictions of the process or news bits like this one where someone is arrested with…

I'd rather be naked.

Don't jinx me! jk I'm glad that you are alive and that you still get to eat apple pie (the best variety of apple). Just keep reminding yourself of mushy, mealy apples... you'll never face that terrible prospect again!

It's definitely a reaction to the skin, and when I'm feeling less brave, I'll eat a nectarine instead (now I'll try rinsing!). But really, one must admit that the fuzz is part of the allure of the peach. Look at the alternatives: could have been an assholish, armored pineapple (food shouldn't hurt) or an overbearing…

Oh, no!!!!! I ache for you! (Can you still eat fruit pies? We'll be less sad and ache less if the answer is "yes.") I fear for my future, but, honestly, I'm gonna ride this shit 'til the wheels fall off.

Secondary. To the above. To the panty dropping-ness.

TWOHUNDREDANDSIXTYEIGHTDOLLARS.

I have a mild allergy to peaches (lips puff up and throat gets itchy). I eat a peach-and- benadryl fruit cocktail because fuckilovepeaches. I wait for the day when the allergy evolves, either into nothing or into full-on anaphylactic shock. I just wait there, eatin' peaches...

Also, I'm envisioning "snotbox" as the actual word used and it's delightful.

I love it. The power of siblings to make. it. worse. Last one I promise: Mama realized that while reading, in her head, she had read the word "ashamed" as "ash-a-med." She tried to call my Da at work to tell him (because: IMPORTANT NEWS), but was too overcome to get anything out. My Da had to ask her to put…

Ditto. Mama would cackle, then just turn bright red and shake silently, tears streaming down her face. It was a downward spiral from there and she could be stuck in that position for MINUTES. The worst/best was when she thought of something that made her do it while at church. Or on the phone. Probably not as…