United planes spew Dark Marks ("chem trails") every time they take off/if they ever take off. I hate. I hate I hate I hate. But yes, especially the Xanax.

In high school I worked at the local public library and so had the inside scoop: these joyful little paper backs were the only books that didn't have sensors embedded in them, so you could take them without having to divulge to the staff person checking items that you were in fact going to read everyfuckingone of the…