Oh, don’t be judgy. I love my dog, but sometimes she’s a pain the ass. Walking her is lovely, but sometimes it’s a pain in the ass. It can be both. People experience the world in different ways.

No one should speak to anyone like this. I don’t even make eye contact with strangers in the store, but this fucking person has this level of audacity? Jesus.

There is nothing tragic about this. There is, however, some sort of poetic justice. Clearly, God wanted him dead - isn’t that how it works?

Ooooh shit! What a comeback! Holy SHIT that is a burn. 

Oh my god, you are just a mess.

tldr; KD is a bitch

I bet this felt funny when you wrote it. 

I don’t usually criticize people’s appearances, but that photo of the two together gives me uncanny valley vibes. They look like aliens wearing people suits.

Congratulations for making your vote not count, in your own way. 

Every time I hear about a guy proposing during a race or at the finish line, I instantly hate him. Way to make her hard work and accomplishment all about you, dude. Way to not give her a minute to shine in her own spotlight.  You ever notice how seldom a guy will propose at his own race?

Tristan Thompson: “We’re still 4-time Eastern Conference champions, so until you take us down from that, teams ain’t got much to say. Boston, Philly, they ain’t got much to say. Boston had homecourt Game 7 and lost. Philly, you guys almost got swept. Toronto - we know that story”

Nobody has to take you down from that…

“How can seal slap?!”

Gurl, you need a hobby. 

I also can’t remember the last time my group of friends planned anything via e-mail. For small get togethers, it’s all basically text or chat. If you’re planning something larger/more formal, then it’s some kind of e-vite. That avoids a reply-allpocalypse and still lets everyone see the invite list.

Counterpoint: I need to mute all y’alls raggety emails when I get messages every 5 seconds that say:

this is.... a weird post. its not pro RA, its anti BCC.

No one co-opts shit unless you let them.

Time to dust off this old quote, because it never stops being true:

I don’t think they ever thought he would pull them up. They’re just expecting him to push others down so that they may stand on their backs.

I love my kid and all, but if he ever acts that panicky and annoying while I’m trying to think of how to escape a situation like this, I’ll probably slap him in the head and tell him to just keep driving.