Patrick, you forgot one of the most important don’ts. Don’t use stupid filters. No Suzy, you don’t look cute with that stupid puppy dog filter or flower crown.

Just like with clothes diapers, you’re supposed to rinse solid matter off into the loo before washing in a machine, you’re not supposed to put shit in your washer... This is why the bidet attachment for toilets (for $90 you can get a sprayer to attach to the water pipe on your toilet) is so critical, it helps get rid…

I think you wash them separate? I would never use this, but if I did that’s what I would do. I wash my undies separate from the rest of my clothes so I think if I had cloth covered in literal shit I’d do the same.

No, and I’m not sure I’d want them to. They have no idea what my entire tax situation is.

I’m sorry, what? Sbarro’s pizza is so, so bland. Costco is significantly better.

Your list is odd, but your mid-tier is just wrong. Costco and Sams are on the same list as Little Caesars. Why is California Pizza Kitchen even on your list? That is a sit down restaurant, a different list all together. You can’t put Olive Garden on the same list as Del Posto, they are for different occasions…

Every single time I hear about Bryant - all of his awards, the massive accolades he got when he retired - I remember this case and shake my head. And you know what else I remember? More people had words about the giant diamond ring he bought his wife ‘as an apology for cheating on her’ than they did for the fact that…

Well when I’m making a physical comparison between 2 people it seems inherent to the process to comment on their physical appearance. He can be pudgy all he wants, I’m not suggesting he needs to change himself for me or anyone else. How should I have said that he looks like Amy Schumer, but fat?

This guy looks like a pudgy, male Amy Schumer.

Yeah, let’s shit on people for not knowing how to pronounce a completely illogically spelled word that just started gaining traction six months ago.

Please please please, we need the Clippers to win the NBA Championship, get invited to the White House, and then decide to go ONLY SO Trump has to shake this man’s hand. Holy shit, those are big.

Yeah I am definitely there already! Ive been trying to negotiate a different role more in line with the tasks I do on a daily basis but so far no luck. However, my bosses know that in three months when I finish my graduate degree that if they don’t have something more for me then Im leaving for a new job. So who…

“The simple and only answer in all instances is, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

To somehow manage to be the dirtiest player on a team that also employs Draymond Green is truly impressive.

So what? Zaza has both feet on the floor, that’s not near enough to tumble him over. You can even see that Zaza has a delayed reaction to it and then finally decides to go down. He’s banging down low all night with Adams and doesn’t go down once but you want us to believe that a brush of Young’s foot while he is…

Obligatory:

Which he did (turn in his badge). I’m not excusing his actions, merely looking into why he may have done what he did. Was it shitty? Yes, but that makes him no less human.

I’m sure he will live the rest of his life haunted by his decision to do nothing.

My wife and I talked about this last night (SRO not going into the school). She couldn’t fathom why he didn’t go. While we both agree that it was his job to do it, it took some convincing to get her to see why he might not have gone in.

You’re talking about 1 guy, likely with a 9mm with maybe 9-15 rounds going up…

It’s weird when someone doesn’t get they’re the punchline.

This seems so intuitive now, but you have to imagine yourself back when everything except sugar was demonized. I know middle-aged women who still scrape the whipped cream of a key lime pie because of fat. OFF A DAMN CUSTARD PIE. We are living with the consequences of the fucked up sugar industry shitting all over…