Attention young people: Listen to an old. The entire time I was growing up, our government warned its citizens that the U.S.S.R. was about the rain nuclear destruction upon us. We spent all of our money on weapons we never used and didn’t need, instead of making our country better.

Screw police dogs. We need police cats.

They should postpone this movie until it’s been, say, six months since the last U.S. gun massacre, thus assuring that it would never, ever be released.

What would it take to never hear about the Kartashians and their friends and their offspring and their boyfriends and their husbands and their makeup and hair people, ever again? For real, a natural disaster? I think a natural disaster, because they’re so shameless that nothing in their ‘personal’ lives could ever be…

“I was expecting Princess Peach? Very nice lady. Very nice.”

“I just wanted to say, Wario is doing a tremendous job”

*Trump sits down at table with the most most prestigious leaders of gaming studios in the world*

Maybe a meeting with Molyneux could create an ouroboros of lies so unending we won’t hear from either ever again?

I couldn’t possibly unsee this

Aside from not immediately arresting the pair (Which would have been mind blowing) it’s surprising that the Police dept, the Grand Jury, and the Solicitor-General all took this seriously. Definitely a move in the right direction.

“Bongiovanni, in a split second, highly-intense situation of deescalating the situation, did everything he was trained to...”

I miss Wonderfalls.