Welp. Funny story...

Give me season 3 of Frisky Dingo, or give me death!

Missed it by six minutes, chief...

Thanks, literacy! It was nice knowing ya!

His acting chops started to decline after Jaws and Close Encounters anyway...

Looks don’t have much to do with it. Remember: L. Ron Hubbard looked like the Joker without makeup...

Put it in H!

To be fair, the other two guys look like they’d rather not be there...

Put on your string tie, ya big dummy!

When I die, I ain’t gonna do it on top of no hill people!

I know you’re making a joke here, but I’ll take “Jackie Blue” over any piece of shit Mumford & Sons can churn out...

Bluegrass is the death metal of roots music...

And the United Church...

The next time you hear a Canadian make those types of arguments, show them this:

I think you lucked out having Mr. George as a teacher, because I was in high school in the late 80s and early 90s in Ontario, and residential schools were never mentioned. I only learned about them when I went to university...

Thanks for bringing this up, as this was the first thing I thought when I read the headline. “Boarding school” is just much too benign a term to use here...

All three paragraphs are NSFW...

#CANCELLED

Not so fast, bud!

*** cues up video of Lord John Whorfin buying a Spin Doctors CD ***

That’s because he knew he didn’t have much “time” left...