I bet it caaa-an’t!

They already found him. Some dude named Carl Brutananadilewski. Fled the scene in a shitty American sports car with the words “2 Wycked” painted on the side...

I’ve found that the best cheese balls/puffs are the ones that induce the greatest feelings of shame while eating them...

(whispers) He doesn’t know what that means...

You don’t know what you’re talking about, cha-cha...

I dunno. Bake sale?

Please...please....PLEASE STOP ASKING ME IF I WANT TO SIGN UP FOR YOUR FUCKING NEWSLETTER!!!!

At least with the latter you don’t have the energy to ask every single friend and family member if they want to shoot heroin with you...

Either you’re commenting on the wrong article, or I’m having a stroke...

There we go! That’s what I skipped to the comment section to see!

“...but the trial never happened because Andrew Jackson issued a blanket pardon for Confederates.”

...is something Judd Apatpow has never said.

Should we be talking about Berlin Alexanderplatz here?

***readies Franz Biberkopf action figure***

I think that ship has sailed...

Hey, do ya...do ya like the Arliss?

Why I once saw Al Capone do the Charleston on top of a flagpole in Kansas City!

Canadian universities have their issues too, but I’m grateful that fraternities and sororities have very little sway up here...

***shoulders slump***

He never had it...

Yeah, I think many Ontarians were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt during the first wave, but he needs to work harder (and smarter) if he wants to maintain the goodwill in the coming months. And when (if?) the pandemic does end, I have no doubt that the old version of Ford will re-emerge...