The Pepperidge Farm cake I smeared all over your mother’s ass remembers...

Guelph would have been ideal...

And remember to carry around a piece of iron ore everywhere you go...

I’m afraid to admit that I chose Kanye over Jackson’s music. I don’t like Kanye as a person or his music, but I chose him because he hasn’t raped any children.

Or serial killer...

Awww. I was hoping someone in Hollywood finally had the guts to turn the old Lock ‘n’ Chase Intellivision game into a Netflix series...

Yeah, but Chuckie O’Brien’s mother was Italian...

Uh, I think you mean Christopher Marlowe’s Star Wars...

I don’t know if it means anything but his character’s only part Italian. I think his father’s Irish...

Well then, seeing him in 2019 would definitely be a weird experience...

Shh! I wanna see how far he’s willing to go with this...

That guy is out of his goddamn mind. You can get a “decent” road bike for, like, $300-400...

And he’s not responding because he died at Vimy Ridge before he could read the replies to his ridiculous post...

Thanks for passing that info along. That’s some crazy shit...  

I never really heard the whole story, but I did know that there were some shenanigans involving E. Buzz Miller turning out to be alive several months after it was announced that he had died. Or something to that effect...

That restaurant looks like a place where mobsters from a Scorcese film would hang out...

Oh, is this the E. Buzz Miller faking his own death thing?

“...it’s weird that what dominates my feelings is the yearslong catfishing that we all “got” to experience...”

Look at the size of his fucking head...

Thank god Paul Scheer will have SimpliSafe to protect him...