Your fatalism must be pretty intense if you think the Blue Jays have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever beating the Rays. The Jays couldn’t beat the Rays even when the latter was one of the worst teams in baseball...

With a pinch of casual racism...

And Chris Davis just needs to go 17-for-17 to reach the 18 hit mark this season!

Staring death straight in the face?

They’ve got a Conine too...

And maybe deGrom’s Cy Young award in 2019...

To be fair, your teacher forced you to be naked every time you were called on to pronounce “potpourri,” so the fear is sort of justified...

Yeah, but they only brought one ball to the championship game and it ended up in mean old Mr. Netanyahu’s back yard...

“...it almost looks like she had a lift...”

The opening lyrics for “The Ballad of the NDP Voter”...

So Robert Kraft actually occupied the moral high ground in this shit storm?

I’m in the 5' 11.5" zone, but I just lie my ass off. Even to my doctor...

I’m pretty sure he was kicked out of the band because he’s only got one arm...

Funnily enough, my dad has actually owned two Rancheros over the past 30 years. The first one was a piece of crap, but the most recent one was pretty sweet. It had a 400 CI engine in it, so it could haul some serious ass...

Talk About Locker Room Cancer is one of my favorite cable access shows ever...

Where’s Sir Chewbacca?!?!

I’ll blow my stack if it turns out to be a Ranchero!

I like both zucchini and squash, but why would anyone get rid of the beans in chili?

I hear wedding bells!

“...who’re....”