He’s also an authority because Neil Armstrong came to him in a vision when he fell out of a tree and shattered his pelvis a few years ago...

Good eye, batter! Good eye!

Your username suggests that you ought to be commenting on the Machado post about Plesac and Byrnes being “tools”...

Scrawling the unwritten rules of baseball on a bathroom wall with shit is actually part of the written rules of baseball...

Nice try, Nick Olivieri, but Josh Homme is never going to let you play bass again for Queens of the Stone Age!

I thought his reasons were pretty clear: he didn’t want to to play one more game for the worst franchise in the history of professional sports...

As a Canadian, I would have done the polite thing and waved at him as he ran by...

I think there’s a Soviet Russia joke somewhere in there...

Sorry, I don’t put ketchup on sandwiches...

McDonalds has already ripped off your idea by rushing the McSlurry to market...

I just sent them an email saying that Dwight Gooden was once a very good major league pitcher...

“It appears that R. Kelly’s enablers are having a call of conscious...”

Bet they were tighty whities too...

I just wish more breweries were brave enough to name their beer after a religious custom that often serves as a cover for child rape...

Wait a minute! Are you saying the Knicks haven’t been banned from the NBA the past 20 or so years?!?!

Soon it’ll be asking Kenneth about the frequency...

It tipped over and crushed my leg when I tried to star it...

“Am I the only one who’s sick of watching shows wherein the producers decide that people who speak excellent English but have some sort of accent that lightly inflects their voice need FUCKING SUBTITLES to make them understood by viewers who apparently have a MAGA gene that triggers confusion when they hear a voice…

Taciturn...

Now why would Verlander, the pitcher who’s given up the most home runs in baseball so far this year, complain so much about the balls being juiced?