Thanks, Debbie Downer!

This should be called Let’s Remember Some Guys: Blue Jays Edition. As a lifelong Blue Jays fan, I thank you...

Oh no! How are they going to pay their football coach now?!?!

The drivers aren’t at fault here because we all know that they were never actually told to tell the customers that the Impossible Whopper had been replaced with a regular Whopper. That’s a straight up load of horseshit...

I’m on a waiting list as we speak. God willing, I should be getting my own tick-derived meat allergy sometime in mid-August...

Ah, the head crusher. He’s my favorite Monty Python character...

“The Bruins will have a chance to close out the series in St. Louis on Sunday.”

I was too distracted by the dude wearing a Don Sweeney jersey to notice anything else in that video...

I can definitely hear you, Clem Fandango.

Amazing...

There’s no way “No cheese” is number 4.

Nice to see Jose Canseco’s non-union Korean equivalent getting some playing time...

“Whilst deployed to the Persian Gulf between Wars, we had to open a brand new base because someone done blowed up our old one.”

I think we’re forgetting about rollerbladers. They’re worse than motorists, pedestrians, cyclists, and skateboarders combined...

Are you confusing Kids in the Hall with SCTV?

And that’s how you came to be known as “Yankton”...

It’s interesting that you remember him as the guy with the fish in Police Academy. I remember him as the guy who was blown by a prostitute who was hiding under the dais at a speaking engagement...

WE BEAT PENICILLIN!

Thank god his older brother, Enola, was around to protect him...

Good fucking riddance!