I don’t even think it was a couple months ago. I think it was a couple weeks ago!

They were also printed on the worst stock of paper in the world. Like cardboard boxes that had been fished out of the East River after a particularly brutal winter...

This looks like a reversed before and after Weightwatchers ad...

I’m...so sorry...

And while we’re at it, whatever happened to Vince Champ?

Something, something your mother...something, something my penis...something, something launch angle...

That was around the same time as he started thinking and talking like your racist uncle...

Plus, Serge Ibaka sounds a bit like Sir Chewbacca. That’s fun as fuck!

And a surprise cameo by the Sarlacc!

Oh man. Now you’ve got me wishing that Don Knotts had been in at least one Star Wars film...

I was never concerned about the meaning behind The Phantom Menace’s title. I was concerned that it sounded like the title of a fucking Scooby Doo episode... 

Wouldn’t it be great if we found out that Palpatine was living in the remains of the death star like some trailer trash dude?

I think it’s a stretch calling the other two films “good” too. Particularly Jerry Maguire...

Or get shot in the back of the head while taking in a delightful play...

“I was adopted! Here have a burger...”

There’s your Dave Thomas biopic for ya!

Drew should have addressed the Springsteen email right after the advice about the best time to take a shit, if only because Springsteen sings like he’s having trouble dropping a deuce...

Picasso porn!

The dipshits at CBS think NXIUM is a shampoo...

A beautiful re-telling of the old saying about being born on third and thinking he hit a triple...

9 point OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!