As someone who's also an atheist, let me just say that I totally agree with the church's position. But it proves my original point that the United Church is only slightly more religious than my rotisserie baseball league…

I honestly don't know…

Here in Canada we've got the United Church. It's so permissive that one of its ministers recently came out as an atheist…

It's like Hank Kingsley's defence of OJ Simpson: he was always nice to me…

And Corporal Clegg…

Jackson was from Gary, Indiana. Gary Coleman, however, was from Zion, Illinois. Perhaps you're confusing two of the most popular black entertainers from the 1980s?

Hell was always the place to be…

Hey, everyone! Check out this guy raggin' on the Great Northern Railway!

Donny Osmond: I'd just like to say this gig sucks!

Until next week, when someone from the AV Club writes a "For Our Consideration" arguing that Grease 3: Gettin' Greaaaaaaaazy is even better than the first two films…

Goddammit! I just won a competition to be porn actor John Hard for the next 6 months!

ABC Family at least warned everyone that the viewing experience was going to be shitty. Freeform sounds like a fucking Adobe product…

I call it Lost Wages…

I "maying" be interested in your proposition, sir….

Ditto…

I'm not sure if Linkin Park ever got as big in Canada as they did in the US…

Into a large pit filled with about a dozen Jack Russell terriers…

Nice fucking try, Zod!

He isn't?!?!

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