That's Jake Paul, man. You don't talk to Jake Paul. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll… uh… well, you'll say "hello" to him, right? And he'll just walk right by you. He won't even notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you…

Surprising? Did Pauly Shore recently find you preserved in a glacier?

He agreed to join the cast, but only under any circumstances…

The only thing better than Airwolf is Teen Airwolf…

Not unlike Jane Russell's cross your heart bra…

Did…did you just quote Dennis Miller?

Don't forget the monkey sounds!

The world's laziest Manchurian Candidate activation process…

This is all part of Jake Paul's latest prank —- acting as the AV Club's copy editor for the past 3 years…

Holley carb, posi trac suspension, Hurst shifter. That shit was tight!

Oh yeah. That place is going to look like the end of Weird Science very soon…

Not the exact quote, but I appreciate your attempts to hold a mirror up to society…

Hey, everyone! Check out Rand Paul over here!

Ever hear the rumors about how Churchill and Roosevelt adopted a wait-and-see approach during the late stages of WW2 in order to let the Nazis and Soviets fuck each other up? That's what I'd do if the Paulers and the KISS army ever went to war…

He'll be President of the United States once he turns 35…

I don't normally advocate violence, but if video of that beating was on YouTube, I'd have a tough time not watching it over and over again…

The kid on the right when Paul was being interviewed by the news team could have been Martin Kove's son….

"Oh, man. You wouldn't believe what happened to me, man. I mean, it's just…wait. Where am I, man?"

That does explain why you're 6' 2" and weigh only 73 pounds…

You try touring with Huey Lewis for the past 40 years!