This stupid world…

I told him not to work with children again after The Bad News Bears…

I agree —- if only because another 10 thousand upvotes will get me a free tire rotation at Jiffy Lube…

Someone was watching Conan the other night…

I don't know if I can trust this review. Gregg Turkington says this movie's a five bagger…

Well, I know for a fact that Sergey Lavrov, Russia's foreign minister, loves tit fucking…

No lie: I read on the internet once that Carrot Top really likes tit fucking. A few months later I was hanging out with a friend of mine from LA who knew a girl who briefly dated Carrot Top. I told him about Carrot Top's sexual preference, so he called his friend and asked if it was true. She said that it wasn't.

The world's best Lebanese jam band?

More like audiences will be creeped out by how weird looking he is….

A willingness to do business with Protestants…

The producers need to refurnish their homes with couches and love seats that are made of only the finest Corinthian leather…

Your friends and family won't show up, so they'll probably cut it short…

Your comment needs a costly crane shot…

Not if Big Black was a house cat.

That got a pretty big laugh out of me. Well done…

Did Possum Dixon ever open for Widemouth Mason? Because that's one Mason & Dixon line I think we'd all love to cross…

He was upset that the producers were forcing the snakes to work with him…

Great soundtrack too. So much Slayer…

I'm too lazy to ask how old he is, so let's just hang shit on him…

Some of Neil Peart's finest drumming…