I[ve never had sex

Actually, it is a profitable business model for hundreds of porn sites.

“Use the backup sample”

Wasn’t this the guy who spent months bragging about how his immense wealth would mean he could entirely self-fund his campaign and wouldn’t need to rely on donations from anybody?

“Days before birth” at that! Ok, two things:

The big revelation here would be that Ivanka Trump doesn’t know about the internet.

Well, might as well leave this here:

Does she not have internet?

English farmer Maud Lee and her daughter Pat enjoying tea with their lamb Betty in 1949

And here he is stretching out his hands:

To be fair, while Trumps campaign is not the most terrifying act of terrorism in our generation, it is the longest.

HA, JOKES ON THE PEOPLE WITH MONEY. I’M ALREADY POOR.

It’s when you get Chinese food and there’s only one wanton in the soup so you gotta fight over it.

Not a techy type but isn’t Assange and his message reliant on a good internet provider? Gawd help him if he is a Comcast customer.

Can’t I just sell Russia my credit card number directly?

auto correct....life’s filter

Curt Schilling. Keeping the “America” in American Beauty.

I think it’s time we bring him back. We need him now more than ever...