I remember listening to some old hip hop the other day and I couldn’t find a single male rapper from the 80s or 90s that didn’t descend into woman hating or sexual harassment at some point in their music. It’s not even just the Snoop Dogg’s and NWA’s. Even The Fat Boys are a fucking problem.

I’m not excusing my behavior from now or back then. I need to do better and help fix the problems that I participated in creating. I don’t blame women for perpetuating the same awful shit that’s done to them because plenty of us Black people do anti-Black shit too. We all need to get better at stopping misogyny.

My extreme mistake! I just went right for my mothersister.

At the end of the day, we uphold this wall of silence because once someone pierces it, we’re all getting aired the fuck out.

Of course we have cousins, who else are we going to marry?

Thank you so much for writing this. Also, please call out any friend you hear asking a woman if she can “make it clap”. It made it extra gross that the server was a teenager but I’m sure any grown woman wouldn’t appreciate the question either. Again, kudos to you for wanting to do better and calling out those who…

I’m no saint either. I listened to misogynistic music and justified my tacit support of the messages they portrayed by claiming “I just dig the bangin’ ass beats.” Back in my club-hopping days I revered my “homies’” overly aggressive “don’t take no for an answer” approach when talking to women as being a “playa”…

Yep, but the shit is necessary and only begins to matter materially if it is done constantly (and honestly). The easiest thing to do is get defensive and tell yourself that you are a great guy; the smartest thing to do is listen, examine, and evolve.

The problem is, yes, you are talking about them. You are also talking about me. You’re also talking about pretty much every dude. We are ALL complicit. You could be a eunuch and still be able to say or do some out of the way shit. You have no excuse in that regard. Some of it could, arguably, come from ignorance when…

I feel like the only appropriate response when Michael posts something is:

It’s so hard. In this moment with #metoo taking off and Weinstein and Cosby there seems to be some sort of awakening. Question is, can we sustain it?

Yes.I totally agree. Sometimes in order to get better you have to break your own self down to bring up a new and better person. I did it in my own life and its hard as hell. To face one self is the most daunting challenge.

 SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT.

So fucking right man. Honestly looking into the mirror and addressing our own issues can be a bitch.

1) Thank you, it means a lot to hear men acknowledge there is more to why so many women endure sexual harassment, assault and rape than the literal moment of the crime.

Oh, Michael. What a great piece, thank you. I was feeling drained this morning after reading some of the comments in the Jelani Maraj post, putting the onus back on the mother, instead of Jelani.

It happens every year. And every year, I’m like, “I saw your actions. That’s enough.”

“You can’t just take your costume off,”

This. Thank you for THIS.

everyone who knows my character and knows my heart