Will the rope handle give you a good grip while you sling this through a window at Anthropologie?

Forgot to add. After shitting pants for the tenth time every day drinking and popping Viagra in the hopes of getting a semi-erection (still doesn’t work though), arm-chair militiaman finally stumbles to bathroom and dry heaves to the sounds of “God Bless the USA!”

Ah. I see the arm-chair militia rising out of their Lazy-Boy to get another beer and frozen burrito, masturbate to Fox News, and check their Daisy BB guns before collapsing back into the easy chair draped with the flag and autographed photos of Jesus.

Nope. People die everyday. Wearing a uniform doesn’t make it anymore tragic nor cause for making heroes out of the dead.

Nope.

“OMG!. If Chipotle closes for three hours my toilet-paper and Kaopectate stocks will crash!”

When military helicopters collide in mid-air there’s only one thing to do — Bomb Iran!

“Can I still cash in on David Bowie? I hope so!”

What? No pockets for shotgun shells, bad heroin, penicillin, and herpes lipstick?

Only Dead American Military are Heroes! I’m surprised this group wasn’t immediately shot after being returned as traitors for giving aid and comfort to the enemies of ‘Murica, McCain, and Netanyahu.

“I think that bag would look great over my face! It’s big enough to get my feed bag underneath and still have room for a bale of straw.”

And Robert Kardashian is still happy he’s dead.

‘Listen, you do whatever the fuck you want to do, but please promise me you’ll never go back to a disgusting brothel again.”

Not diseased ones, so you have my sympathies but not my touch.

Like Ricky Gervais I don’t give shit what you think.

Is that a photo of someone transitioning into a badly abused mannequin after living in Chernobyl? Tod Browning is always looking for new talent.

I see the testosterone shots are working on Kim as she transitions into a man.