Chapter 1: Never get on the subway.

Michelle Obama never sued anyone about people saying she’s trans.

It sounds like a garlic roll without the garlic.

She’s 18 now. She should help out and give Emmy Rossum a chance to keep her shirt on sometimes.

Why? There could be an infinite number of universes, all exact copies of one another. The number of something doesn’t force any sort of variety in each version.

“Welcome to the Deadspin 25, a college football poll that strives to be more democratic and less useless than every other preseason poll. Leading up to the college football season kickoff, we will give you previews of the 25 teams that you, the readers, voted to be most worthy of writing about. Now, No. 6 SMU.”

When…

Rick Sanchez is one outrageous dude! He’s totally in my face!

Why are they making a show out of that Penny Arcade fiasco?

Rick must have backups.

I should have listed more things than just the drinking. I guess Rick wouldn’t care too much about Mortys drinking by itself, but it’s still strange that the Citadel has a bunch of Mortys living like adults, when they’re all supposed to be the same age. Why would some Mortys be in school while others are bartenders?…

At first I thought Morty was being sarcastic with the true level reaction.

I also prefer the older Venture Bros.

You’re not alone.

I’ve had that conversation about “for all intensive purposes”.

I think it’s important to note that creating subservient, stupid, happy candy people was her uncle’s idea. It was also his idea to create a big candy city. So, even though she knew he was bad, she decided his plan was a good idea.

I’m still a little upset about the citadel from last week. How could a Rick leave Beth behind just to work in a factory or do other mindless crap? Why do the Mortys get to drink? Where are the women? Are they all homosexual? (And homosexual isn’t really specific enough here - they’d all have to into Rick or Morty.)…

This was a lot worse than I thought it would be, and I didn’t have high expectations. They should at least be able to copy some jokes from Red Dwarf or Futurama if they can’t come up with their own. I hope next episode they go to an Amazon planet or deal with a polymorph.

Keep buying drugs, America! It’s a victimless crime.

Who is his accuser?

To summarize, Louis CK needs to publicly handle these rumors about what he likes to publicly handle.