she now states she handled Whitney Houston's body bag

But was it a Really nice house?

Whp do I talk to to get my dick tasting like jalapeños?

Good God! Look at the size of Yao Min's head!

Does it have a filter for "but she was asking for it"?

Im a ginger, and I have no soul. It's fabulous!

I was going the " Bing Crosby is going to beat you with a sweet sack of Valencia Oranges" route, but i could see the ironically uncontroversial route too!

I am no filthy ground squirrel! Glorified rats, those. I am the exalted tufted-ear flying squirrel, Master of the Skies!

What's next, radishes? Zuchinni? CAULIFLOWER? FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED, TELL ME THE CAULIFLOWER IS SAFE!

If i were single i would take that hit!

And here to kick off the 2014 NFL season, Bing Crosby!

I know right? I wish people would stop telling me "I don't find people of your race, height, weight, body shape, head size, and eye color attractive. Plus I hate your face, and you have a stupid name."

I find it interesting that in 2009 - black men seemed the least racist of all. Everyone in their eyes was within 2-3% of the average (probably close enough that it's not statistically relevant).

From this point on, Beta Theta Phi is on Double Secret Probation!

What?!?!? Treating people like garbage doesn't improve moral? I need to talk to my underlings about this immediately, they've been feeding me lies for years and must be punished!

In case of emergency, puppies and kittens and hamsters and gerbils will drop down from above and you'll be covered in a pile of adorable fluffy happy furry love and its so cute and cuddly and you'll just want to bury your face in them aaaaand the plane has crashed and you're dead.

I want to know what Dog thinks about Pizza.

But nuns are such gentle, loving souls? Why would the penguins do this to us? Why?

I call BS on that chart in the link. I don't drink anymore, but in my late teens/ early 20's, at just about 165 lbs, I had several instances where I put down 10-15 drinks in an hour, and clearly, I am not dead (or am I? Is this all an illusion? Is the afterlife an endless procession of commenting on Gawker articles?).

Very true - and to be fair, even Asimov and Capek weren't exactly the inventors of the idea of a non-human automaton. They just made the idea more real, and more interesting. Reading the article, I don't see that she has taken the idea of a robot, or even a transition of our mind to a non-human consciousness that much…