In the picture, I can see the markings that kind of look like a smile, and while I was trying to build empathy for that, I noticed it has two orbs below that (on its chest?) and maybe there is just something seriously wrong with me, but, they kind of look like...well...boobs.

Is it common to not know when that’s about to happen? Like, it’s very clear to me. Everything feels different in the seconds before the splooge.

I tried to star this but couldn’t fucking find it gosdddamnit

So like, just That So-So Raven? Is that what you’re saying?

I have NEVER liked to be leaned on. People used to tell me I was too high strung. Those people are no longer my boyfriend.

I thought Rita Ora there was Kylie. Spooky (didn’t Rita date Rob?)

Yes? No? For my first?

I want to place a bet that Barack “No Fucks” Obama smokes a cigarette during his next State of the Union.

Candy corn is amazing.

If you’re into docudramas about crime and forensics try, “The New Detectives” and “Forensic Files” on Netflix.

Dont feel bad. My kid can read and write, but cant tie his shoes and still shits his pants at least once a day.

I’m definitely not afraid of looking my age - but I am afraid of looking afraid to look my age.

I waited a while but I just got into Modern Family and have watched the first 5 seasons in the last 5 weeks or so.

these passwords are so fucking insecure I can’t stand it

So are parts of my Facebook feed. I should just hide these family members, but I don’t because they remind me that civil rights have a long way to go (kind of like reading yahoo comments).

Still better than this..

The “Achilles heel” is the worst. All of my dead chargers (5-6 over the years => over ~$500) died because of this weakness... I now learned how to be more careful about this part but I still feel nervous whenever someone else handles my charger ;)

“There is a strong sense that it’s an idea whose time has come, given the role of women in the classroom and the world of work after Harvard,” John Hanson, vice president of the Spee’s graduate board, told the NYT.