“I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you’re really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you’re saying: ‘Hope I don’t get chased today.’ ‘Be nice to people in sneakers.’” -Demetri Martin

I wouldn’t call you narcissistic, it’s pretty normal to take things like that personally. It hurts, even if it’s not about you. So don’t worry about it. :)

Satan has no time to even bother with the likes of this asshat. She should get over herself.

I think the difference is Bruce Jenner won the gold medal in the freaking decathlon—which means that there was a time where he (as a reminder, he still wants us to use male pronouns for now, so that’s what I’m going with) could lay claim to the title of World’s Greatest Athlete. So, regardless of what anyone thinks of…

Right? Like if someone tried to bully me now, I’d just laugh and say, “Yeah you’re nowhere near as mean as me, but good try.”

ERIN AND SARAH’S MANSION IS THE SAME MANSION KOURTNEY AND SCOTT USED TO LIVE IN

The only thing slim about this guy are his chances of winning the election.

Republican Primary now includes a swim suit portion.

Billy Ray has seen better days, looks like a Sons of Anarchy extra.

This is an important thing to have on the Internet! I used to be really ashamed of my “always depend[ing] on the kindness of strangers,” or whatever, but it just ain’t gonna happen otherwise. No one likes being on an airplane, anyway. Let’s try to be chill to each other.

As a result of this phenomenon, men now expect us to be cool girls who love to eat and drink and be merrily free of body image issues and still magically be super thin. Ugh.

*mouth waters*

Actually, I’m in ELEVENTH grade, god.

Bobby, you could do a whole regular series of Wrong Answers. Like, ten at a time. Fucking killing me, man.

Kris Jenner is so angry about the upcoming interview and the potential “secrets he might lift the lid on” that she will “never speak to him again,”

(grey with black trimmings, but it looked blue in the movie)

Gonna read that agoraphobic falling into a manhole story again …

I feel like I’m one of the few people that download all their music from iTunes. I probably spend about $10-$20 a month, which really isn’t a lot and just makes my life so much easier than trying to finagle a way to get free music. Also, I like having all the album artwork on iTunes, for some strange reason.

For those who don’t partake in the vegetarian lifestyle, I would add a snack meat to the list.

I mean, looking back we all see the signs, my mom more than anyone I’m sure. It’s hard for me to say if she turned a blind eye because I was completely out of the loop (I didn’t even live at home any more at this point). She did have a huge metldown when the affair came out, so it sure seemed like a surprise to her.