The chimp would laugh and point at your disfigured corpse.

For about ten seconds.

Well, you're half right, and half 1000% fucking dead wrong.

"both of these people were breaking the LAW!"

What the actual fuck, man.

Yep

Did anyone ever see anything like that?

I look at these sites way more than I should, and I sure as shit did not.

THIS RIGHT HERE, FUCKING EXACTLY.

Holy shit the refs were terrible in the MSU/KU game.

They named it "OAF" for Christ's sake! The gift that keeps giving.

1. Wilson washed away blood evidence.

First rule of Deadspin Ferguson articles: DON'T READ THE COMMENTS.

"What is unique here is that the cop was so confident in his case that he did what most defendants don't do."

Yeah. He told his version of events - which are laughable ("He's just so big," "He was going to kill me with a punch," "He was like a demon," "He was going to run right through the shots") - for four hours with…

Pedialyte has that oily/greasy feel to it that makes it impossible to choose over Gatorade.

Killer Mike up there nearly in tears, and the crowd seemed like they just wanted to party.

This is a deeply uninformed and illogical statement.

You might want to do some research on the historicity of a statement before you start the running of the mouth. Just sayin'.

Look everyone, someone who zero grasp of either history or current events.

You know that people outside of St. Louis can see this, right?

Thanks, Obama. #FirstAmendment

Who in the fuck is giving the Red Hot Chili Peppers a pass?