At the very beginning, when he froze for a second in front of the defender as if to say “Really? You’re going to try? Okay...” before starting that unbelievable sequence. That’s my favorite moment, except for all the rest.

They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.

Actual story: Athlete loses, directs unrelated derogatory comment towards his opponent in post-game interview.

The Malt-eased Falcon

Indiana pizza joint = awful; Colorado pizza joint = awesome

See, here's a guy who GETS WHAT THE REAL ISSUE IS!

Also, isn't being Christian a choice? Because they don't seem to mind beating people over the head with that decision...

If you're bracket is busted

Yes, but may I retort:

Hey, everyone! Look at the butthurt Duke fan!

Some good advice here and I'll add some of my own—both my parents died in the last year and it sucked but they did a couple things ahead of time that helped me out tremendously.

Where are the red playground balls? It's like you all forget entirely about joy when I'm not around.

[shakes fist]

I mean, you did raise a giant pussy.

I'm really disappointed that this wasn't a picture of UL Washington.

Dawwww, look at the wittle frat baby, coming on here and having such a profoundly hot take!!

Bigots need to stop blaming their bullshit on Jesus. He said nothing about the gay, and if this was really about the Bible they'd also be screaming for the death penalty for working on Saturdays and banning women from speaking in church and a host of other absolutely abhorrent shit.

I like the part with the dancing.

German Goal Girls